TIE Fighter Speakers: Out Geeking Our Geeks

Gentle reader, I must now admit something that you might know already, but it is my duty as a journalist to shine light on the truth, even at the expense of my own reputation. Friend, know that I am a Nerd American. As such, I’m keen to many things that have to do with the Nerd lifestyle, including gadgets, video games, and Star Wars. Most especially Star Wars. Thus, when a creation comes across my path that mixes the three above mentioned loves, my heart beats faster, my hands feel clammier, and the world around me slows down just a little bit as I try to take it all in.

You can then imagine my shock when I realized that these TIE Fighter-themed desktop speakers with Star Wars sub-woofer, made for a PC or gaming console, did not make me full of avidity. In fact, much to my own personal horror, I find myself thinking that if I were at a person’s house or apartment or minivan and that person had these, I would likely find something nearby to beat them with, perhaps even with the speaker stands themselves, as this person would be all that is wrong with being a Nerd American, and it would be a Geekriotic duty to lay a clobberdown upon him. While I couldn’t find all the needed details about this setup, I find myself not caring, again, that’s puzzling.

Because of this, I’m rather confused, but perhaps that was the point? I feel I’m having the same baffled thoughts a dog might when one pretends to throw a stick but doesn’t, the thought process following the lines of, “What the hell am I supposed to do here?” I’m hoping you’ll not judge me too harshly, reader, for though I am a complex and mighty Nerd, it took only TIE Fighter speakers to humble me. I am at their mercy.

Damned Star Wars Speakers, with Gallery [Gizmodo]