Bill Gates Announces $13.37 Billion In Revenue Last Quarter, Urinates Festively Into Diamond Toilet Bowl

scrooge.jpgEveryone’s favorite software company, Micro$oft (note clever use of dollar sign), made $13.37 billion in revenue last quarter, placing it about $50 billion in the current fiscal year. They chalk their good fortune up to strong sales in Windows Server and Vista, XBox 360, and stealing and processing the life energy of third-world babies for off-world energy export.

“Our results this quarter cap off an extremely strong fiscal year for the company,” said Chris Liddell, chief financial officer at Microsoft. “We have healthy core businesses and are strategically investing in growth opportunities, which will build on our success and contribute to continued double-digit revenue and earnings growth in fiscal year 2008.”

Liddell then entered his mediation chamber where he contacted the Emperor, explaining that the new Microsoft Battle Station 2008 was almost completely operational.

Press Release