VIBE machine: Fools and money soon parted, sadly dead

While there are plenty of alternative remedies for testicular cancer – St. John’s Wort, Rolfing, going to the freaking doctor and having him cut the cancer out – none are quite as ridiculous as the VIBE machine, a Vibrational Integration Bio-Photonic Energizer. Like an audiophile’s snake-oil “power conditioner,” the VIBE machine is supposed to get your body’s vibrations all in sync, ensuring you die of cancer.

Sadly, a 32-year-old man believed the VIBE peddler and paid him thousands of dollars over the last few months of his life only to be felled by cancer.

Donald Brandt treated the man, who was diagnosed with testicular cancer, for more than a year although the man’s physician had recommended immediate surgery to save his life. After refusing surgery and spending several thousand dollars on the device treatments, the man died Dec. 14, 2004, of cancer, leaving a wife and three young children.

The placebo effect is real but medicine is realer. CrunchGear’s advice? Eat right, exercise, and pray you don’t get cancer and when you do don’t trust people who wave props from Dr. Who in your face.