How many times have you read ‘What's next for Apple?’ today?


How many dreadful articles about Steve Jobs have you read today? I’ve lost count. News outlets from sea to shining sea have asked the hard questions, made the tough demands. What’s best is that they all say the same thing, over and over again. So this looks at a small sample out the thousands of words written in the past day.

The following are examples of the all-too-predicatable “what happens to Apple post-Steve Jobs?” that you can find in any kid’s LiveJournal:

• “What Steve Jobs’ leave of absence means for Apple” from the Baltimore Sun

• “Apple Without Its Core?” from BusinessWeek. This gets extra yuck points for the childish apple pun in the headline.

• “Analysis: can Apple stay on high without Steve Jobs?” from the UK Times

The following sanctimonious articles focus on Steve Jobs’ health, and why Apple would dare hide this information from the company’s investors. These are mainly found in the business press (not necessarily the technology press, that is) and are absolutely sickening. The man is sick and the one thing on these vultures’ minds is their portfolio. Be on the lookout for self-serving lines like, “Look, Steve’s health is no one’s business but his own, but we’re talking about real money on the line here.” Hackery:

• “Lawsuits Could Fly Over Jobs’ Exit” by Forbes. Basically, if Apple’s stock price dips investors will be angry that they lost money, and that Apple doesn’t let them visit the doctor’s office every time Steve has a check-up. Wonderful.

• “It’s Time for Apple to Come Clean” on some New York Times blog

• “Steve: Give It To Us Straight” by, again, Forbes. For Shame, Steve Jobs, my money is at stake here!

The following all examine Tim Cook. You know, the usual “who is he, how does he operate” kind of thing. You’ll find more compelling writing on the back of a box of Cheerios.

• “So who will run Apple while Jobs is away?” byZDNet This is essentially Apple’s “About Us” page, rewritten.

• “The next five steps for Apple’s Tim Cook and Yahoo’s Carol Bartz” from Computerworld

• “Can anyone replace Steve Jobs?” from the Telegraph.

Basically, I think all of this speculation is sick and repetitive. There’s but so many ways to say “Apple will be okay without Steve Jobs” or “Apple won’t be okay without Steve Jobs.”