The Big Reveal: The DustBuster winners

And now for the five winners of modern Black & Decker DustBusters. I picked them all based on effort and implied need and so we have some of the best vacuuming stories ever to come out of the readership of a consumer electronics blog.

Special thanks to Black&Decker for the opportunity and happy birthday DustBuster!

DotComGuy – Wins because he totally tried so hard.

Oh the memories… The year was 1982. Unemployment was in the double digits, stagflation was going out of style and the dial on our TV had broken off so we used needle nose pliers to change the channel. Changing the channel without a dial is a lost art. With no numbers to reference, one had to count (without a slide-rule no less) the number of clicks or get stuck watching commercials until the next station ID. One day I lost count, perhaps because our new dual tape answering machine (what will they think of next) had answered a call, or maybe my fear of the war in the Falklands spreading to some place that mattered overwhelmed me… Whatever the case, I lost count of the clicks and found myself watching commercials so I could figure out what channel I was on.

And then it happened, I saw the solution to all my problems. The commercial featured a boy with the unfortunate name of “little mess” (because mishaps followed him everywhere). Name aside this kid had it all. He got to eat snacks on the couch while watching TV, he had a big sheepdog that followed him everywhere, played in sand that he tracked up the stairs with shag carpet that covered unsightly antique hardwood floors, carried a hockey stick that he used to knock over ashtrays, and he ate cupcakes while practicing piano. On top of all this, his mom was always smiling!

What was this kid’s secret? His mom had a Black & Decker Dustbuster of course!

The wheels started turning in my young imaginative mind that was not polluted by MTV (we didn’t have cable). The DustBuster was all that was holding me back from experiencing the fullness of life! First I had to get my mom a DustBuster. Next, I would ask my neighbors if their sheepdog could follow me through our house. After a game of hockey, I would carelessly knock over an ashtray (and since my parents were squares and didn’t allow smoking in the house that would be a really cool trick!). I would then trail sand up the stairs and finally enjoy a chocolate cupcake while I played piano.

After months of begging, my dad finally got my mom a DustBuster for Christmas. But my mom didn’t smile when I made a mess, we never got a dog, no one smoked in the house, I never played hockey, or learned to play the piano.

But I did learn to eat snacks on the couch and clean up without anyone knowing… for a week. The battery wasn’t the problem. The commercial taught me how to put it back in the really cool wall charger, but I really wish it had mentioned that you had to empty it every now and then. It doesn’t vacuum very well when it’s full of “munchies.”

AnneMaddox – She wins because she made a video

DoctorJay – Because he won a DustBuster by getting people drunk

I got my first Dustbuster via an incentive program for waiters at a restaurant in Tysons Corner, VA.

The goal was to “upsell” as many drinks as you could. If someone asked for a Bloody Mary, you were expected to ask “Would you like that with Absolut Peppar?” If they said yes, you could hear the “ca-ching” of an extra buck fifty added to the bill. Pretty sleezy, but I ended up winning the Dust Buster.

I used it to vacuum my entire apartment numerous times. At about 250 square feet it wasn’t too difficult crawling around on my hands and knees sucking up ramen noodle powder.

Zach H – Because he wants to pick up his daughter

When the origional DustBuster first came out we tried to pick up everything we could with it. I managed to suck up some really nasty stuff…and when fully charged leave some nasty hickies on passed out party goers. The Buster met its doom though when we tried to suck up spilt beer from my friends parents Mercedes, alas a shop vac it was not! I’d love a chance to see if the new DustBuster can stand up to my 1 year old daughter and the mess she leaves in her wake!

DON – Gets one because he totally needs one

my story is short and certainly not fond.

when i moved here to puerto vallarta, mexico, about 2 years ago, i figured it waas time to retire my trusty dustbuster. i thought i would just buy a new model after 20+ years because there had probably been a number of improvements since then. so, i arrived here in PV and made my way to wal-mart, sam’s club, soriana, tio sam’s, etc. there were none to be had. i actually started yelling and carrying on in wal-mart’s parking lot! all because all i found was some sort of a second or fourth rate brand with a 10 foot cord. it died after 2 uses.

now, here i am sitting in possibly the dustiest city in north america with no dustbuster and so, no relief from the ‘polvo’.

since all i have are memories of effortless clean-ups, my tale is one of woe rather than one of fondness. i am too distraught to think fondly….wistfully, yes; fondly, no. sorry.

Thanks for playing, guys. Those were great stories.