Let's get out of this country, we'll pick berries and recline: All aboard the USS Ark from Escape From Earth 2012!


“Baby, let’s blow this popsicle stand.” That’s the snappy dialogue you can expect to see in the screenplay I’m writing about a man who takes up Escape From Earth 2012’s offer. You see, there’s a company out called there EcsapeEarth2012 that’s offering you the chance to leave this dumb planet before everything explodes in an orgy of stardust and iPhone cases come December 21, 2012. So, you buy a ticket, then if the apocalypse does, in fact, arrive, you board the spaceship and it takes you to a brand new planet, one that’s fit for humans.

The offer is both real and a joke all at the same time. It’s real in that you can book a ticket right now, and it’s real in that the company will mail you a ticket (and travel package!) to board the USS Ark. The package costs $14.49, which is less than the price of a monthly MetroCard in New York. That must be one efficient spaceship~!

It’s a joke in that, if there really is an apocalypse and you don’t survive the plane trip over to New Earth then you get your money back.

So yes, you’re buying a novelty spaceship ticket for $15, so that’s sorta neat.

And let’s face it: if there’s an apocalypse, I sincerely doubt that the remnants of the United States of America will be too concerned with making sure the small claims courts are still up and running.

End of the world: the most interesting sci-fi scneario of them all, if done right. I’m looking at you, 2012.