For The Tragically Lonely: An iPhone/iPad Cat App

If you’re anything like me, the state won’t let you own animals. That’s why this virtual kitten for the iPad/iPhone is so beautiful! It reacts to your touch, your movement, and you can brush your appendages over its soft fur without fear of reprisal or arrest!

The app even has an augmented reality function that allows you to project your kitten on your current background, allowing you to put the kitten on your bed!

You can download the app here or you can just pretend you still have all of your cats, their backs rubbing up against your legs as you tinker in your “workshop” and their feces piling up, month after month, until animal protection pays a visit, those jack-booted thugs. Don’t they know that cats are naturally clean and healthy? And you are totally not paying that fine and you’re not getting rid of all the bikes in the back yard and the car in the pond. Those things are collectables.

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